Pick up line: If you were a burger you'd be McAverage
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intergalacticbootycall:

when u see a horde of white twinks in the club

thejory:

pitbull:

Back from the dead to tell you Never stop the party #dale

OH SHIT

thejory:

pitbull:

Back from the dead to tell you Never stop the party #dale

OH SHIT

sanicdahegehog:

JESUS FUCK PEOPLE NEED TO SEE THIS

perks-of-being-chinese:

sexting on facebook

perks-of-being-chinese:

sexting on facebook

dekutrickortreet:

telapathetic:

when u haven’t masturbated in ages and

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damn imma stop masturbating for a while so i can grow cannons on my back and launch torrents of water at people

okaymad:

do she got a booty?

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she dooooo

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SHE REALLY DOOO

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pervocracy:

stuffman:

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People have written a lot of touchy-feely pieces on this subject but I thought I’d get right to the heart of the matter

This is 1000% more motivating than every preachy “real writers write every day” post on all of Tumblr.

cashcutie:

when you n ur babe standing on rocks

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princessmoriartea:

garlicbreadsticks:

I bet satan greets you with the “hey hey hey” from blurred lines

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lucifer: 1 robin thicke :-100

nickelbackthatassup:

don’t trust college kids. I threw a party w plenty of food/drinks shit even weed and I wake up and you know what’s missing? my pineapple. who went to the back of my fridge and said imma take all this pineapple. damn son. take the free alcohol not my pineapple man…

wehidebehindstars:

peachvenom:

periods help you learn how to get blood off of things which is probably why you hear more stories of men caught with murder

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